The first thing people noticed about Marianne Toy was her smile. “She was very pretty,” her oldest daughter, Emily, said this week. It didn’t take much time , though, before the beauty behind the pretty face was evident. Mrs. Toy, who died August 5 at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York at the age of 60, was a nurturer.
“She was very caring and concerned about other people and whatever they were going through,” Emily Toy said. “But she was also very practical and honest. She’d tell you what you needed to know, even if you didn’t want to hear it.” Testament to a lifetime spent thinking of others, Mrs. Toy took a moment in the throes of her illness to write her family—husband Jerome and daughters Emily, Rachel and Megan—telling them how lucky she felt to have had such a wonderful family to spend her life loving.
Born in Newark, New Jersey, in 1954 to Ellis Faraday and Mary Burns Faraday, Mrs. Toy was proud to share a birthday, May 29, with President John F. Kennedy. The family moved to Sag Harbor when she was just 2, and Mrs. Toy spent most of her life, both growing up and for the last 15 years, in the same house across the street from Pierson High School, from which she graduated in 1972.
An array of employment positions kept Mrs. Toy, described by family as a hard worker, busy during her younger years. She ran a cleaning service, worked as a florist and at area restaurants.
In 1978 she met Jerome Toy in the Corner Bar. The couple married in 1986 and lived for a time on Deering Road. They raised three daughters, and Mrs. Toy worked for the last 15 years at Hamptons Dental Group.
Despite a full schedule of work, it was her family that was Mrs. Toy’s focus. She loved to cook and play host for family and friends. She was passionate about food and “had a great palate,” Emily Toy said. “Every food snob element I have comes from her.”
Her most cherished moments were spent relaxing and having a good time with loved ones filling her home. She enjoyed the beach and took pleasure in planting flowers in her yard.
Reading was a joy, and “she always had a book going,” said her daughter. Mrs. Toy was especially excited for her daughters when they expressed interest and began to follow career paths in the arts.
In addition to her immediate family, Mrs. Toy is survived by her brother William and sister-in-law Mary Faraday of Rockville Centre and their children Kate and Patrick; sister Ellen and her husband Steve Sowa, of Wareham, Massachusetts; and brother Robert and sister-in-law Laurie Faraday and their daughter Mary. Her parents pre-deceased her.
The family received friends Sunday at Yardley & Pino Funeral Home in Sag Harbor. A mass was celebrated Monday at St. Andrew’s Roman Catholic Church , and burial followed at St. Andrew’s cemetery.
The family has requested that memorial contributions be made to Cormaria in Sag Harbor or the Lung Cancer Research Fund.