One in three teenagers has reported experiencing a form of physical, sexual, verbal or emotional abuse from their boyfriend or girlfriend with almost a third of girls involved in a relationship reporting they have been pressured to have sex or engage in uncomfortable sexual behavior, according to the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence.

And according to Stacey Bellem, the director of agency programming at The Retreat in East Hampton, these statistics likely represent the reality of dating violence on the South Fork.

“Those numbers are pretty accurate and we are seeing, in general, a rise in domestic violence,” said Bellem.

Which is part of the reason why The Retreat has launched a formal Public Service Announcement competition between students in area schools as part of its dating violence and awareness prevention campaign. As of press time, high school students from Bridgehampton, East Hampton, Sag Harbor, Shelter Island, Southampton and likely the Ross School are slated to spend the next three months developing short videos centered on the theme of dating violence prevention.

Bellem said the hope is to provide students with an opportunity to teach each other about the perils of dating violence, a lesson that may have more of an impact coming from their peers rather than their high school health teacher.

Students are encouraged, said Bellem, to work in small groups of two to four students in creating the videos with their media arts and health teachers working cooperatively with students to flesh out the content. The videos will be judged on impact, creativity and on the understanding of the many facets of teen dating violence. Members of the Retreat administration and board of directors as well as celebrity “friends” will judge final submissions. The top three finalists will be invited to The Retreat’s Artists Against Abuse Gala in June where the first place winner will be announced.

“We wanted to create a program that can get youth involved, engage the community on this subject and make it a fun, creative event,” said Bellem. The Retreat launched the competition this week, noted Bellem, on the heels of the announcement that Congress and New York State have proclaimed February Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.

Working with local schools towards violence prevention is not new for The Retreat, which presents violence prevention education programs in all local schools, including programs geared towards elementary and middle school students like “Hands Are Not For Hitting” and “Respect You, Respect Me.”

With the rise of the Internet and use of mobile phones amongst children and teens, a cyber-bullying prevention program has also been developed for local schools.

“In the middle schools we work a lot on bullying and early prevention,” said Bellem. “We really want to reach the kids before they start dating.”

So far, once teens start dating, the state and national statistics are jarring. In addition to basic statistics on sexual pressure and physical violence in teen relationships, more than one-fourth of teens in relationships said they have been put down by their partners.

According to statistics out of New York City, almost 11 percent of teenage girls reported experiencing physical dating violence, up 50 percent from statistics reported in 1999. The Retreat is working with Suffolk Community College’s Riverhead campus and Stony Brook-Southampton to develop comprehensive statistics on the prevalence of dating violence on the East End, which Bellem predicted would model national and state statistics.

She added that in an effort to reach a new, technologically savvy generation of teens, The Retreat has also been creating multi-media lectures on issues like high school teen violence and the media’s effect on gender identities.

However, it is Bellem’s hope that the peer-to-peer communication the PSA competition will foster will lend to a deeper understanding amongst high school students about dating violence.

“They are in the same age group,” she said. “They are relatable, they speak the same language.”

Popularity: 1% [?]

By Benito Vila

“The side making the most goals in that time shall be declared the winner.” So states the thirteenth of basketball’s original thirteen rules.

Much has changed since December 1891 when Dr. James Naismith penned and posted those at a YMCA in Springfield, Mass. That rule, though, still holds, the ball going in the basket making the difference in who comes off the court with a win.

While it may seem elementary, how the ball gets in is a matter of teamwork, positioning, timing and perseverance. Winning teams tend to create openings for one another close to the basket and finish on those shots; losing teams often miss out on those very same chances.

The Pierson varsity boys’ basketball team re-discovered those rules and realities in dropping its League VIII opener Tuesday on Shelter Island, the Indians holding off the Whalers, 40-31.

According to Whaler coach Christian Johns, the difference in the game came down to “the last few possessions. We had opportunities in the paint but didn’t finish. We drove [at the basket] well all game and had our chances from the free throw line but we didn’t get those points.”

By shooting 10-for-29 from the line, the Whalers allowed the Indians to recover, regroup and get away with what Coach Johns called, “a hard-played, physical game.” Pierson was down one at the half and three after the third period, but Shelter Island pulled away at the end of the fourth, their shots finding the hole and dropping through the net.

Leading the Indians was Mike Mundy, who finished with fourteen points. Luke Kirrane topped the Whaler scoring, also tossing in 14. Skyler Loesch added nine and T.J. Arreguin four. Sean Hartnett and Dylan Hmielenski each posted a pair.

Despite the outcome, Coach Johns remains enthusiastic about his team. “I’m proud of the way we played and I love how we battled under the boards. I’m also proud of the way we got into the paint. We just gotta make those fouls shot.”

“Overall, defensively, we didn’t do a bad job. We kept them to 40. What we have to work on is our transition defense and our efficiency and shot selection on offense.”

Looking to tomorrow’s home opener, Coach Johns expects to match up against “an extremely tough” team from Southold. Tip-off is set for 6:15 p.m. Friday in the Pierson gym; the Whaler faithful are expected to fill the bleachers to near capacity.

The Settlers come in 1-0 in league and 3-0 overall, wins over Bridgehampton (41-34, Tuesday), Rocky Point and Mattituck making for a good start.

Whalers Ahead

The year-end school break interrupts the Whaler’s game schedule, but it gives the team (0-1 in league, 0-4 overall) more time to practice as a unit; league play resumes at Ross January 5.

In the meantime, there is a non-league contest scheduled at Pierson, December 30, against Mercy, keeping the Whalers competitive; the game tips-off at 6:15 p.m. that Wednesday.

Stops & Shots

The Pierson JV had a better time of it Tuesday, besting Shelter Island, 44 to 35. Coach Tortorella was pleased how the team finished, getting “defensive stops and hitting key free throws to close out the game.”

But Coach Tortorella cautioned, “We need to play much, much better than this. Our defense was average, at best, and we need to really focus on basic things like positioning, communication and close-outs.”

“Three or four players were in foul trouble all game and we need to be more disciplined and not put ourselves in that situation. Offensively, we need to get out in transition a lot quicker and be more effective with our decisions in the half-court.”

Coach Tortorella also liked how the team “fought through” its more discouraging moments, working hard as a unit until their game came together at the end.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Shelter Island. Walk to sandy beaches from this beautiful Shelter Island home featuring a great room, living room, kitchen, 3 bedrooms and 2 baths; plus a home office with separate entrance, garden cottage and detached 2-car garage. All set on a private one-acre property. Lots of potential and a great value. Exclusive $875,000.

Call Debra Marino, 631.553.6347. Georgiana B. Ketcham Real Estate.

Popularity: 3% [?]

The 10th annual Shelter Island Fall 5K Run and 5K Walk last Saturday raised money for the North and South Fork Breast Health Coalitions and Lucia’s Angels, an organization assisting those on the east end suffering from late-stage women’s cancers.

It also proved to be a perfect send-off for Janelle Kraus on her wedding day, the former Lady Indian standout, NCAA track and field All-American and Olympic hopeful asking her friends and family to pick up their pace.

Joining Kraus, now a teacher in Croton-on-Hudson, were world-class competitors Roisin McGettigan, Marie Davenport and Amy Mortimer.

McGettigan, a member of Ireland’s 2008 Olympic team and a internationally-known steeplechase athlete, was the first female finisher, coming in 18 minutes, 11 seconds, a pace just under six minutes a mile. Davenport was the second woman finisher at 18:16, while Mortimer was the fifth, at 21:12, and the bride seventh, at 21:32.

Lauren Laviola of Southampton was the highest placing local female runner, coming in after McGettigan and Davenport at 20:36.

The overall winner was Bryan Knipfing, of Sound Beach, at 16:44, a 5:24 pace. Ken Rideout, of Manhattan, was second overall, at 17:39.

Other notable local finishers were Jorge Flores, of East Hampton, who was seventh overall, at 18:24. Pierson’s Kyle Fletcher came in eighth, at 19:11, taking the medal for his 16-to-19 age bracket.

Shelter Island Height’s Benjamin Segal, was ninth, at 19:21, just ahead of fellow islander, Kevin Barry, who was tenth, at 19:28.

The Whalers’ cross-country team was also well represented by Peter Skerys, who took the under-15 age bracket, at 20:45, placing seventeenth overall. His teammates, Brendan Sheil and Jeremy Pepper, came in at 21:59 and 22:16 respectively.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Suffolk District Attorney Thomas Spota said last week that a former Shelter Island Town Justice and her handyman husband have been indicted for allegedly stealing over one million dollars from an elderly East End resident who suffered from dementia. Attorney Katherine Pope and her husband, Wayne, 57, each face one count of grand larceny in the first degree, a felony, for the theft from Mary Abbot Estabrook’s fortune from February 2005 to April 2009; a period of time when the victim suffered from diminished mental capacity.
Katherine Pope, who was the Shelter Island Town Justice from 1998 to 2002, is also charged in the indictment with two counts of first degree identity theft, a felony. Pope allegedly presented herself as Estabrook during telephone stock transactions in 2006 during which more than 12,000 shares of the victim’s stocks were liquidated.
District Attorney Spota said the investigation “uncovered evidence that $750,000 of the proceeds from the stock sales ended up in Katherine Pope’s escrow account and was eventually used to purchase, for cash, a house in Vermont.”
Wayne Pope worked occasionally as a handyman in the victim’s Watermill residence. Estabrook died on July 4, 2009 at the age of 89.
Katherine Pope, who resides in Turnbridge, Vermont, and Wayne Pope, of Shelter Island Heights, pleaded not guilty at last weeks arraignment in Suffolk County court in Riverhead. Bail for Wayne Pope is $100,000 cash or $300,000 bond. Bail for Katherine Pope is $100,000 cash or $250,000 bond.

Popularity: 2% [?]

By Marissa Maier

Since moving to the East End 25 years ago, Pastor Bill Grimbol has created a reputation for himself. Although Grimbol’s sermons are soul searching and he is involved in various community projects, he is most famous for his work with local adolescents. Generations of East End teenagers and adults refer to Grimbol simply as “Pastor Bill.” People on the streets of Shelter Island, where he is currently pastor of the First Presbyterian Church, and Sag Harbor, where he and his late wife, the Rev. Christine Rannie Grimbol lived for many years when she led the congregation of the Old Whalers’ Church, may recognize Grimbol as the man who supported them through a teenage depression or helped a son or daughter overcome substance addiction.

Throughout his career, Grimbol has worn many hats, including that of youth counselor, well-seasoned preacher, and writer of fiction and spiritual studies. On February 2, however, Grimbol will don the role of parent guidance counselor in a class titled “Being The Adult Your Teen Needs You To Be.” The class is part of a two-part session “Good Enough Parent,” the first program series to be held at the Chris Grimbol Center for East End Adolescents, in the Old Whalers’ Church.

“Whenever you bring up the issue of adolescence, parents always ask ‘what can we do about this?’ But I have come to realize that it is not so much what parents can do about a problem, but what they can be about a problem,” said Grimbol.
By nurturing their own emotional and mental health, Grimbol believes parents will be better equipped to parent their children. Grimbol hopes to teach parents certain strategies to facilitate a healthier and stronger relationship between them and their child.
The class will consist of a 30 minute presentation and discussion session. The presentation, which will be delivered by Grimbol, will focus on being honest and open with your child, and also rekindling your enjoyment of being a parent.

“We still have this kind of approach to parenting as if you have to be perfect, and that effort takes all the fun and all the love out of it,” said Grimbol.

The program and the Chris Grimbol Center for East End Adolescents is a tribute to Grimbol’s late wife, who also ministered to local youth and was a champion of their interests.

“I waited for eight years before I did something I thought Chris would be proud of,” said Grimbol, whose wife passed away in 2000.

Grimbol recalls his wife as a legendary confidant for local adolescents. When they first moved to Sag Harbor, he fondly remembers Chris walking up to teenagers at their local hangouts in front of the fire department or the Harbor Deli where the Golden Pear stands now.

“She would go up to the kids and say ‘I am Chris Grimbol and you are coming to my youth group,’” said Grimbol who added that his wife fostered strong bonds with her youth group members and often guided them through troubled times.

One year, a group member became severely depressed over the suicide of a friend, who had been the Pierson valedictorian. Chris wasted no time in showing up at his house where she found the young man in bed, where he had been for days. Chris promptly hopped onto the bed and told him he had to talk with her. After some bickering, Chris soon had the young man laughing over her persistency in helping him. When dealing with teenagers, notes Grimbol, Chris was often fearless and honest.

“She would talk to them about what everyone else avoided talking about,” remarked Grimbol. “Being married to Christine taught me everything that I am talking about with these kids.”

From Chris, Grimbol also developed a somewhat unorthodox stance on religion and approach towards spiritual counseling. An avid writer, Grimbol is currently working on a book titled “I Am Not Very Religious, But I Am Spiritual: Finding the faith you can live with.” The title was lifted from the answer Grimbol constantly heard parishioners, people at funerals, and weddings utter when he asked them if they were religious.

The upcoming series at the Old Whalers’ Church, Grimbol feels, is a fitting tribute to Chris Grimbol, who devoted much of her life to helping kids.

“Being the Adult Your Teen Needs You to Be” will be held at the Old Whalers Church, 44 Union Street, Sag Harbor on February 2 at 7 p.m. No reservations are required.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Some days, Sierra Hull’s life resembles that of any average 17-year-old American teenager as she navigates the hallways of her high school, stopping by her locker to chat with friends before heading off to a classroom for a math test.

Other days, however, Sierra Hull’s life is anything but typical. That is when she assumes a different persona — one of a rising bluegrass musician jetting around the country to take part in festivals and concerts.

Sierra is quickly emerging as one of the premiere young mandolin players in the country and is in high demand these days. She has also begun singing and writing songs as well. Just last February, she signed a deal with Rounder records and in the spring, at the tender age of 16, came out with “Secrets” her first major CD. 

When not focused on finishing her senior year in her hometown of Byrdsville, Tennessee, Sierra is immersed in the adult world of the music business — performing gigs from coast to coast and everywhere in between.

This Saturday, January 17 at 7:30 p.m., Sierra Hull and her band, Highway 111, will perform in concert at the Shelter Island School. Sponsored by the Shelter Island Recreation Department, the concert is part of a bluegrass and folk music series that has brought a string of rising young musicians to the island in recent years.

Like others that have played the venue before her, Sierra comes to this concert with a vast amount of experience under her belt. She has performed at Carnegie Hall as well as on stage at the Grand Ole Opry, where she appeared (at the age of 11) alongside Alison Krauss, one of her musical heroes. In her experience, Sierra has found that audiences in this part of the world have a special appreciation for bluegrass music.

“It’s funny, I think sometimes northerners are even more into it,” she says. “They respond differently. It’s new, they don’t get to hear it as much. Every crowd has a different personality. You never know what to expect when you go out there.”

Bluegrass may be a novelty for most northerners, but it’s a way of life for many children growing up in Tennessee. In fact, for as long as she can remember, Sierra has been hearing the music around her house.

“My dad has always liked bluegrass,” explains Sierra. “We’d drive back and forth to church listening to bluegrass and gospel music. My parents also love ‘80s rock and all that. I’ve been around that too.” 

“Listening to bluegrass wasn’t any thing unusual in Tennessee,” she adds. “There are a lot of festivals in the southeast where I grew up.

It was actually Sierra’s father who first got her interested in the mandolin. When she was 8, he was the one who picked up the instrument with full intention to learn how to play it himself. But when he saw it was his young daughter who really took to it, he changed his tack. Sierra recalls her father telling her at the time that if she learned everything he knew about the mandolin, he would buy her one of her own. 

“It took me a month or so to learn everything he had learned,” says Sierra. “He hadn’t been playing very long.”

At that point, Sierra’s father put down the mandolin for good and picked up on nurturing his young daughter’s talent. He found a teacher for her and before long, she was playing in public.

“I’d been playing just a few weeks when I was asked to get on stage at this little community center where they have music,” says Sierra. “These guys started whipping out money to get me up on stage and I did it.”

“Then I started getting up a little more,” says Sierra. “It’s fun to see that — someone young jumping up on stage and giving it a shot.”

Pretty soon, Sierra started surrounding herself with music by going to bluegrass festivals to learn all she could. And while there are many adults in this world who are still trying to work out what they want to be when they grow up, Sierra Hull is one of those fortunate few who have never had any doubts.

“I realized early on, subconsciously, that I just loved to play,” says Sierra. “I knew this is just what I wanted to do. It felt really natural.”

With Sierra’s fame growing, so too has her performance schedule. She and her band, which includes guitarist Clay Hess, banjo player Cory Walker and bassist Jacob Eller, must coordinate their date books so they can make it to the many gigs, often held on the weekends.

“Every year it’s gotten busier,” says Sierra. “This will probably be one of the busiest I’ve had.”

Balancing school work with being on the road as a working musician can be a challenge. Sometimes, explains Sierra, she takes a whole week off from school to perform, but tries not to do that regularly. More often, says Sierra, she will take off school on a Friday and perform over the long weekend. 

“It just requires working hard to keep up,” she says. “I’m really having to focus to keep my grades up. We only have 200 kids in our school, and the teachers are great. They know what I do and help me so I’ll come in early to class and go over what I missed.”

Sierra is looking forward to graduating from high school in May, which will free her up to pursue music full time. Summer is likely to be packed with more concerts and festivals. But fall is another question, and right now, though she is interested in the Berkeley School of Music in Boston, she has not yet fully committed to the idea. 

“I know what I want to do,” says Sierra. “I’ve known since I was 8 — and that’s to play music in a band and travel around.”

“I would love that to be my primary focus, but I don’t want to pass up the chance to go to a great school,” she adds. “I’m still indecisive.”

Sierra Hull and Highway 111 perform at 7:30 p.m. on Saturday, January 17, 2009 at Shelter Island School auditorium, Route 114, Shelter Island. Tickets are $20 in advance ($25 at the door) and $15 for students. Call 749-2355 to reserve tickets. 

 

Popularity: 19% [?]

By Benito Vila

Nothing’s perfect but Pierson boys’ varsity basketball is doing its best to stay that way. The team is now 2-0 in League VIII play after last night’s 36-20 win over Shelter Island at home, keeping the Whalers atop the standings along with Stony Brook and pre-season favorite Greenport.

The scoring started slowly, Pierson putting points up first after three minutes plus had gone by, team captain Joe Dowling banking a shot in off the glass under the basket. Nearly another two minutes went by before the Indians tied the game at two.

The decidedly Pierson crowd called out a football-like “DEE-FENSE” just under three minutes left in the second quarter, picking up on what had become the mainstay of the game, Shelter Island up at that point 5-3.

Both coaches struggled to jumpstart their offenses, substituting in freely to find a group that could connect from the floor. The Whalers went ahead 6-5 with 1:45 left in the half on a baseline drive by Casey Crowley that gave them the lead for good.

 

The Bright Side

The Pierson boys managed to keep up their pressure and pull away on the scoreboard somewhat, a steal and lay-up by Nick DePetris with 5:18 left in the fourth pushing the lead to 27-14. A Luke Kirrane lay-up with 1:09 left prompted the “start the ferry” call from the bleacher creatures, the score 32-16.

Kirrane scored all eight of his points in the last period to give the Whalers what they needed to win. Crowley led the team with 10 and Dowling finished with nine.

Whaler varsity coach Fred Marienfeld said afterwards, “It wasn’t pretty, but I gotta look at the bright side: I’d rather have an ugly win than an ugly loss. Our defense was the bright spot; we didn’t give up any double-digit quarters. On offense, we have work to do; they made us work in the half court and that’s a tough way to go.”

 

What’s Next

Last weekend’s snow curtailed the boys’ trip to a tournament in Rochester and left the team home to practice. Coach Marienfeld has rescheduled that trip next weekend, just after New Year’s. Looking ahead to what’s in store after the holidays, Coach Marienfeld said, “We need the practice; we need to do a lot to keep getting better. And we also need to play games; getting everyone away and doing something as a team will be good for us.”

The Whalers will be back in the gym later this week and early next getting ready for the games upstate and a January 6 match-up at Mercy. The team is home again Thursday, January 8, hosting Ross at 5:45 p.m.

 

Popularity: 33% [?]

  by Joseph Hanna

 Wisdom must be refreshed. Snow in the high Colorado Mountains does not melt, it “sublimates”. Sublimation means that snow at a certain altitude changes from a solid to a gas without going through the usual watery phase. Wisdom is like that. You acquire it through painful lessons. You then own it rock solid. You go about your life. You become distracted. Wisdom sublimates so that later, when you need it, phfffft. It has out-gassed like a dinner of canned beans. One learns from one’s mistakes, but it does not do any good if one forgets what one has leaned. I forgot and thereby hangs a tail.

“Mom wants a replacement for Rudy,” said the beloved in my telephone earpiece. I could not see her face. I was at work and what is left of my mind was deeply engaged in some technical problem of getting electrons to go whither I wanted and not whence they might wish to wander. “I’m taking her to ARF,” continued the beloved in even, non-threatening tones.

Rudy had been a golden retriever who, how shall I say this delicately? He liked to put his nose into everyone’s business. He left moist imprints on the front of my corduroys. These damp spots were difficult to explain and made me self-conscious at various, big, in-law functions and holiday merry-makings, the gaiety of which was often rent by shouts of “Rudy! Down!” from everyone else but me. My role was to mutter, “Oh, he’s OK,” while violently crossing my legs and not meaning a word of my assurances. Rudy was not OK. He was weird.

But that day at work, the day in question, my brain was so enmeshed in matters electronical, that the phrase “taking Mom to ARF” failed to ignite the master alarm light on the dashboard of my mind. The warning siren failed to sound as well. Wisdom stood mute and forgotten. I hung up the phone. Hours went by. They seemed like normal hours, the kind that had been passing boringly in the post-election letdown. But they were not normal hours. They were fraught with complications and entrapment. The first I knew that fate had decided to stick its cold runny nose into my personal business, was when the office phone tootled later in the afternoon. I assumed it was some disgruntled customer. The gruntled ones do not call.

“Joe, line one is for you. It’s your wife.”

The beloved? At that hour? It was too early for her to ask me to stop at the IGA on the way home to fill-in some blank in the pantry.

“Yes my dear?” I intoned into the mouthpiece.

“Can you go with me to ARF tomorrow?”

“Certainly I am able to do so,” I said. The next day would be Saturday, my day for rest and recuperation. Ha! “But why? Has your mother found some needy straggler? Perhaps a Burmese Mountain Guard Dog with a nose the size of a dinner plate? She needs my assistance keeping it from grabbing the steering wheel on the journey home?”

“No. She didn’t see anything she liked … “

There was a dreadful pause as in a pause filled with dread. The pause was hers, the dread was mine. When it came back online, her voice was pitched in dreamy tones. “There is something I want you to see,” she said sweetly.

Poop and turds! That can only mean …

“She’s soooooo cute,” said the beloved, beginning the second oldest sales pitch.

“Cat?” I said with a tinge of hope in my trembling voice.

“No. She’s part Chihuahua and part schnauzer.”

“Ouch!”

“Schnahuahua.”

“Did you say something my love? I think you are breaking up. One of us is. More of a crack-up really. I thought we agreed that when Scupper passes, we would be free and have a lot of extra spending money?”

“She’s soooo cute. I really want you to see her.”

“But you know quite well that I am susceptible to cuteness. If I see her and she is cute, I will give my heart to her. That’s what started all the trouble between us.”

“What trouble is that, buster?”

“This trouble right here! What happened to our weekends free to drive to Connecticut?”

“I’ve seen it.”

“All of it?”

“Enough of it. I really want you to see this dog. Can we go tomorrow?”

Hooves were planted. Weight was shifted. Horns were lowered.

I went. I saw. She conquered.

We call her Peaches. Her ears are like satellite dishes when they are opened for listening. At other times, they fold in half and stow tips down so that she is able to negotiate the world’s byways without wearing a “Wide Load” sign and a blinky light.

Scupper the schipperke was depressed at first. He likes routine and hates change of any kind. He cares not at all for public displays of affection. Peaches, on the other paw, likes to kiss anything that moves. She uses plenty of tongue. She is given to various enthusiasms and enjoys making a squeaky toy dance and sing. She has so much joie de vivre that no one can stay angry for long in her presence, even when she has been indiscrete with her … ah … natural functions.

The beloved, who in times not distant past, approached house cleaning with the care and determination of a molecular biologist, now glides past on the way to the powder room cradling a small but fragrant fecality wrapped loosely in the quicker-picker-upper. She cannot hide the smile on her face as she “sternly” reprimands Peaches for the puppy’s latest detour on the road to housebroken.

“Has Peaches been naughty? Poopies belong outside.”

Yes they do. And yes she has been.

Peaches smiles, wags her tail and nods. Maybe when we have the spring thaw … right now, baby, it’s cold outside.

Wisdom has been refreshed, but too late to be of any help in the matter of Peaches vs. Sisal et al. I will pass on to the rest of you what I have re-learned, in hopes that someone may benefit. Never let your spouse go to ARF alone.  And by alone, I mean without you. Relatives and friends don’t count. They are all enablers. I have to end this now. I have to go walk Peaches and it is raining, which means I have to get her into one of her outfits. While I’m shoving a paw through the appropriate sleeve, I will get kissed a lot. It’s OK. When life hands you a lemon you should do something with all that zest.

 

 

 

Popularity: 35% [?]

There was a time, not so long ago, when some folks worried about the future of Sylvester Manor.

And for good reason. The 243 acre manor property on Shelter Island was founded as a northern plantation in 1651 and has been in the same family ever since. Archaeologically sensitive (there have been several digs on the property) and historically significant, when the irascible Alice Fiske, the lady of the manor, died in 2006 at the age of 88, many wondered what was next. Would Sylvester Manor and all its acreage be sub-divided for houses — a victim of the inevitable development that has taken so many other pastoral properties on the East End — or would there be someone to step in to usher forth new life, both figuratively and literally, at Sylvester Manor?

Meet Bennett Konesni, a family descendent and the new face of Sylvester Manor. A farmer, a fiddler and soon to be possessor of a post-graduate degree, Konesni is a busy young man. Between many hours of hard hands-on work at the manor where he is gearing up for his first official season farming the property, Bennett commutes regularly up to Keene, N.H. where he is finishing his MBA studies at Antioch, New England. He also makes music — fiddle, banjo and guitar are his preferred instruments — and is part of not one, but two bands made up of friends from his home state of Maine.

The curriculum at Antioch, which focuses on social and environmental sustainability, is coming in handy as Bennett figures out the details of setting up a viable model for Sylvester Manor. He envisions an educational farm that will provide high quality produce to the local community. As a musician, Bennett also wants to make sure that music is an integral part of life at the manor — complete with dances, concerts and workshops.

“I want to see a working farm, at least on part of it,” says Konesni who grew up in Maine, but visited Sylvester Manor as a child and spent a summer working on the archeological dig there as well as at Quail Hill Farm and the Green Thumb, where he cut his teeth as an organic farmer.

“There are about 30 acres of fields as we speak and another 30 to 40 where the brush has grown up into old field,” explains Bennett. “Another 40 to 50 acres is covered in invasive species. I’m starting next summer with two acres of the four acres in windmill field.”

The community will get its first taste of what Bennett has in mind over the Thanksgiving holiday with “Plant & Sing” a weekend celebration of Sylvester Manor. The three-day event includes a Friday folk concert at a Shelter Island gallery, community planting of cover crops on Saturday followed by a potluck supper and music at the manor house and a shape note singing session at the manor on Sunday morning.

Just last week, for the first time in years, windmill field at Sylvester Manor was ploughed and is ready to be planted. Community members are invited to come to Windmill field on Manwaring Road this Saturday at noon to help plant rye seed.

“We’ll line everyone up along one side of the field. We’re asking people to bring a mixing bowl to hold the rye seed,” explains Bennett. “We’ll all walk in a big line straight across the field and distribute the seed.”

Bennett explains that a cover crop like rye is the first step in building up the soil in advance of the planting season. In early spring and summer, crops will go in and Sylvester Manor’s first official growing season of the 21^st century will begin.

“Lettuce greens is one of my favorite things to grow,” he says. “It looks good, grows easily and has high value, I also love tomatoes because people love tomatoes and are happy when you give them one. I love growing cold hardy greens for fall. I also love growing peppers and cabbage and heirloom vegetables that are different from the stuff you find in the supermarket.”

Bennett is starting small this year and will bring in a few neighbors to help establish the farm in its inaugural season next summer. He hopes to be able to supply vegetables to local restaurants and shops. By the following year, if all goes well, he will be ready to expand that vision.

“I’ll have a sort of alpha version of the CSA [community supported agriculture] this year with a team of neighbors who want to help in year one,” says Bennett. “It’s a super trial version and not really open to the public per se, this summer. I want to get it up and running smoothly. Next year there will be a sort of application process to get a share in the CSA.”

Bennett explains that with a field that needed planting and faraway friends who were curious about Sylvester Manor, he felt Thanksgiving weekend would be a good time to host “Plant & Sing.” Several of Bennett’s musical friends will be coming down from Maine to lend a hand and you can bet they’ll be bringing along their instruments.

“I knew I needed cover crops and knew I had friends and neighbors who wanted to see Sylvester Manor and I knew I wanted to have an opening celebration,” says Bennett. “I thought to do it all at once. If I have everyone here for the celebration and we could also do some work — put seed down.”

For Bennett, the combination of work and song has become a major passion and one he first contemplated seriously during his summer at Quail Hill.

“Four or five of us out there would be picking beans — talking sports, philosophy, literature,” says Bennett. “But eventually that died down and people wanted to sing. ‘Bye, Bye Miss American Pie,’ is good because it’s long, but that gets old quick.”

“So I started thinking of songs people used to sing in the fields and I thought about what people were singing back in the 1700s — people of all walks,” he adds. “Also the work songs aboard ships. I was a deck hand on schooners in Maine for five summers in high school and we’d sing while raising sails and bringing up the anchor. The first song I sang at a farm was at Quail Hill. I was using a wheel hoe, a friend said, ‘Bennett we have to sing. We need a song, let’s have one.’ So I sang a whaling song.”

After college, Bennett received a Watson Fellowship and expanded on the notion of worker songs. He spent a full year traveling through Europe, Asia and Africa documenting the work songs of farmers, fishermen and herders.

“What I saw was a real connection between movement and music,” explains Bennett. “The noise drives the workers. The work itself also drives the music being created. They continually inform each other. The most striking thing for me was the way you take a situation that is one of the most boring and difficult situations you can think of — like killing three acres of cassava with hoes — and totally transform that mundane experience almost into a recreation.”

“It’s not exactly a party, but it’s not blood, sweat and tears either,” he adds. “That’s a very fertile place. It means you’re enjoying yourself and getting stuff done. It explores the traditional dichotomy between work and play. When you’re having fun while working, it’s almost like not working.”

Bennett is keen to find a way to incorporate music into farming life at Sylvester Manor as well, as evidenced by this weekend’s “Plant & Sing.” He sees music as being integral to the fabric of the place.

“It’s putting the culture back in agriculture,” he says. “I’d like to see that be a big part of what happens at Sylvester manor which is the story of food and culture in America.”

There have been several eras at Sylvester Manor, including the first which began long before there was a manor — when Native Americans farmed and fished on Shelter Island’s land and along its shore. Many Native American techniques were put to use when Sylvester Manor was founded during the global feudal era — African, Native Americans and Europeans working side by side to supply food and materials to sugar plantations in Barbados. Sylvester Manor’s third era was from 1735 to the mid-1800s when it was a regional farm providing food up and down the East Coast. Bennett notes the manor’s fourth era can be traced to his great-great-great-grandfather, Eben Norton Horsford, chair of the chemistry department at Harvard and the inventor of baking powder who helped launch the industrial food era. He hopes that Sylvester Manor’s next era will incorporate the most positive aspects of its previous incarnations.

“The new model will keep the best of what was in the past — the best of creative and cultural interaction, the best of environmentally friendly food production and natural systems, the best of the robust regional food web.

“The sustainable food era will be the fifth era,” he says. “Delicious food that is fair to the people growing and buying it, healthy for consumers, the environment and finances, and a joy to be a part of. On the cultural side, it will be community oriented with song and art, dance and craft all in the process.

“Sylvester Manor has so many interesting legacies — from slavery to industrial food, it’s an amazing story,” he adds. “The fact I get to create this fifth era is exciting. This ‘Plant & Sing’ is the kick-off to that era.”

On Friday, November 28 at 7:30 p.m. “Plant & Sing” begins with folk music at Mosquito Hawk Gallery (24 North Ferry Road) by Lissa Schneckenburger and Bennett’s band “Fireside” which specializes in Appalachian songs and Scandinavian fiddle tunes. Saturday’s community planting of cover crops begins at noon and all are welcome. The Thanksgiving leftover potluck dinner and music follows at Sylvester Manor at 5 p.m. (this event is sold out) and on Sunday, Shape note singing begins at 10 a.m. For more information or to check on availability for events, call Sylvester Manor at 749-0626.

Above: Farmer Bennett Konesni in the freshly ploughed windmill field at Sylvester Manor

 

 

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